But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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