There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You were trust falling into bushes
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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