The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
