he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
