I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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