i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
