i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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