SEEEEXXX PLEASE
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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