so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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