Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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