There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
