i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
