were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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