i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
