I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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