and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
