I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
