Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So squirting runs in the family.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
