you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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