check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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