question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
