i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
