we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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