If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
