On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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