I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
