mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
