I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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