dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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