see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
