There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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