The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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