just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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