Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Holy shit dude........stairs
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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