i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
