Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
