if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I smell like Dick and happiness
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
