It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Green mimosas i think yes
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
