Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
