Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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