i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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