do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
