i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I can't put those talents on a resume
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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