so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
