can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
