I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
