Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
