'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
