Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
