do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
