My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
