he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
